By Maryalexis Gutierrez
You see a girl who you find really attractive but you don’t know how to approach her, or when you do it’s word vomit everywhere. High school can be hard enough without trying to figure out how to talk to a girl. So here are a few tips on what to do and what not to do when flirting with a girl, whether it’s in person or through text.
This does not mean creepily telling her how pretty she looks, but something as small as her hair looks nice that day or you really like the T-shirt she’s wearing.
Do something nice for her that shows you’re thinking of her
Sometimes a ‘Good morning’ text can show her she’s the first person you’re thinking of. Buying her things won’t always show you’re thinking of her, though. That could be seen as trying to buy her love, which is not a good thing.
Ask how’s she’s doing and be sincere about it
A girl likes it when you ask how she’s doing but when you just ask her to ask, that does not show that you are truly interested. A girl wants you to actually mean what you say and pay attention to what she has to say.
Ask if there is anything you can do for her or if there’s anything you can help with
Typically girls like to have help but only when they need it; it’s not like they can’t do things on their own. They want you to ask if they need help rather than you just giving it to them. This shows you are there for her needs not just to show you’re a “man.”
Don’t be a stalker
Girls hate it when you just creepily follow them around. They need their space. This also goes for internet stalking. Girls have their own life and don’t need some random person checking up on them every minute.
When texting, it’s annoying to receive texts all the time so keep it at a normal level. If she has not responded in three hours to a day, it’s most likely because you are being a stalker, although in some situations she could be busy and you should respect her time.
Don’t be straight up too early
You don’t have to tell her you like her right away. It will make things super awkward if she doesn’t like you back. Also she’ll be less interested in talking with you knowing that you have a crush on her, because she doesn’t know you that well.
This can also go for texting. Don’t randomly text her, “I like you.” That’s a very weird text to receive.
No cat calling
When you say “Hey ma” or whistle when a girl walks by, it just shows you are rude, childish and that you don’t care about her.
Don’t tell a girl she’s overreacting
If she is overreacting, just agree with her or try to comfort her. She will figure out on her own and if she doesn’t, that’s OK. Just let her do her.
Don’t use pick-up lines
Although there are some good pick-up lines, most of them are overused. So if you decide to use one, make sure it’s a cute and funny one. Do NOT use a pick- up line that is about a girl’s body. This is very rude and will not help you attract her.
No pet names
Especially now that you are only in the flirting stage, try to avoid calling her “baby,” “sexy,” or “cutie.” These are mainly used when you are already in a relationship. While you are still working on getting her interested in you, these words are not going to help and they might make her feel weird.
Also avoid using derogatory words like “bitch,” “hoe,” “slut,” and “whore.” These words are very offensive and should not be used with any girl.
Do not over-talk
When having a conversation with a girl, keep it at a normal conversation level. It would be weird to have a deep conversation that lasts for hours when you are just starting to get to know each other. Keep it simple, and small talk may work in some situations.
Do not talk over her
Ask her questions and listen to what she has to say. Don’t interrupt her, talk over her or “mansplain” to her. That makes you look like you’re insecure and trying to over compensate.
Don’t flirt with multiple girls at the same time
Be aware of your surroundings. Right now you are in that stage of wanting to get to know different girls and might not want to just flirt with one girl. That’s fine, but make sure that the girls you are flirting with do not know you are flirting with other girls. This will just show you are uninterested and that you don’t really care for her when that may not be true.
Do not touch her inappropriately
Never slap a girl’s butt or do anything else that is inappropriate. This is very rude and shows you are only interested in sex. Girls hate when a guy only tries to get at her for her body and not a real relationship.
Don’t forget to be yourself
Remember that every girl is different and every girl looks for different things in a guy. Don’t forget to be yourself. That’s the most important thing to remember because girls don’t want you to fake your personality. So be true to who you are and she will ether like you for you or not. And if she doesn’t, that just means you’ll find someone else who does.